Hedgehog
SEGA's Epic Failure
"Scrape your knuckles, Catch some tails"
...WTF
THIS MOVIE IS HOORIBLE!!!!!
The movie is awful and I mean AWFUL. For the SEGA fans and the video game lovers for Sonic the Hedgehog, this movie will make you cry. You will cry endlessly for a whole 60 minutes (Yes, this movie's a WHOLE hour long, that's sixty seconds to long!) For those who were lucky enough not to watch it, here's the plot.
"Sonic and his friends are back!..."
This is a sequal!?!?!?(Not really, it's the only sonic movie)
"Eggman has been banished from the land of darkness..." his own home (eggman is the supposed bad guy)
"by the evil metal robotnik!" yes, we haven't heard THAT one before (Sarcasm)
"And if that's not bad enough..." yes, it SAYS the plot is bad
"Eggman tells sonic that he has created his greatest enemy..." here it comes, the ULTIMATE ENEMY OF SONIC! It's going to be awesome right!?!?
"METAL SONIC!!" ****
That's right, the only bad guys here are robot rehashes of other characters. Not only that, but the semi-enemies (one's that are never mentioned or noticed) are the same enemies from the video game "Sonic the Hedgehog" on the Sega Genesis. Here's the question, you add so much into the movie that you have already in the game, WHY DOES THE MOVIE SUCK!?!? Well, i'll tell you why it sucks. For one, THE VOICE ACTING IS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD! It makes a mockery of every Sonic chracter EVER! Sonic's voice is to stereotypically teen, Tails' voice has a FEMALE VOICE ACTOR (just like in Sonic '06 on the Xbox 360), Knuckles is Southern, and the onlyperson with voice acting that fits is eggman, annoying and awful. Just like him.
Oh don't worry, there's more. Listed in the top of the review is the actual, real, SUBTITLE!!! Holy ****!!! What were they THINKING!? Do I really even have to address it!? Crap! I don't know about you, but I don't get it! So after an over-dramatic speech, Eggman deals out some comedy with some new charactr (Sera) wo happenes to be a "Cat girl" as som most people call her. The comedy skit was funny, I will give it that. Later sonic and tails have a travel montage (with the video game references) and continue on to the land of Darkness. When the reach there, it doesn't really loo like a "Land of Darkness". It looks more like Tokyo after Godzilla hits. They go on to defuse a bomb (Yes, a bomb) that will cause the apocolypse otherwise. Wow... just wow. And right in the middle of their trip comes Metal Eggman. They have a actually funny battle, but they lose. Oh, wait, here comes the epic antics of.. Knuckles in a Cowboy hat. Wow. He kicks it's *** in, like, 5 seconds. half the time it took to nearly kill both sonic and Tails. Sonic helped, a little bit in killing it. Tails did practically nothing except whine, ad whine, and whine. The trio continue on to defuse the bomb (which still sounds SO WEIRD) with no interruption. They enter the castle and who do they find? The ressurectin of the epic... Metal Sonic. Luckily, Metal Sonic is an ACTUAL Sonic the Hedgehog Character from a few video games. So this one is exceptable. The have a short battle, but not with Metal Sonic, with a reverse convetor belt. It's fast, so Sonic (the supposed fastest thing alive) can't outrun it. 3, uh oh, 2, It's gonna blow! 1, NO! at Zero (0) seconds knuckles happily flies over and pulls the lever. The irony is that Tails did the same but the lever was to tough. wa wa waaaaa.
After the whole "You saved the day, whoopty doo" speech. Comes the final battle with Metal Sonic, finally. It's actually pretty good. It was DEFINANTLY epic, it was a close battle, and Metal Sonic dies by!... a pool of Lava. Yet another video game reference. (Sonic the Hedgehog, Sega Genesis, Zone 2, Acts 1, 2, and 3).
That's the movie. I know you probably think I'm being to harsh on it an admitadly I am, I mean, maybe they did they could maybe... nah, they just ****ed up.
There's my review, have a nice Freaking Day everybody
I'm the CinemaCritic, I watch it so you don't have to!
